Hello, all! I’m back! Had a wonderful time in NH and Maine this weekend, eating too much, seeing the sights, and visiting with family. So exciting — my aunt and uncle were celebrating their 50th anniversary, and decided to renew their vows — I got to stand up for my aunt. It was wonderful. I can’t believe that my cousins’ children are all grown up and having children of their own! There were tons of babies there. I really enjoy other people’s babies. 😀
The whole experience reminded me so much of teachings of impermanence. Things change, and it’s all tied to my lessons recently about accepting things the way they are. That means accepting the circle of life. Seeing my family there — my aunt and my dad’s generation growing old, my cousins and I just beginning to feel the effects of age, my second cousins in the prime of their lives. It’s really kind of miraculous!
Don’t worry, I won’t break into “The Circle of Life.”
There were a lot of other lessons to be thankful for over the weekend too.
I traveled by car with my folks, and we shared a hotel room. That’s always a lesson in patience, kindness, and compassion. I could tell the difference from my old (but not every old) behavior. I’m still far from meeting every difficult situation with those skills, but I met many more of them that way than I used to. It’s the regular challenges my family and I face when interacting, but with no escape. A more intense challenge, for sure — there’s nowhere to go to escape. But that’s good, we’re not supposed to run away from challenges. We should learn to face them skillfully. But I’m an avoidant personality. I would rather turn my back on difficult situations than deal with conflict or pain.
I think I did pretty well this weekend. I just need to keep doing it now that we’re home.
The other lesson I dealt with more acutely than usual was physical pain and discomfort. I’m used to being in the same environments all of the time, and I have control over their basic comfort levels. I can add another pillow, a cushion, a blanket. I know how to set up my bed to help ease my joint pain and make it easier to get up in the morning. Same with my chair and couch. But sitting in a car for hours at a time, and staying in a hotel with a strange bed (also, apparently, higher elevations can exacerbate joint pain) made for a physically painful weekend. So I did a little yoga, and worked on meditations for being with pain, instead of trying to escape from it. That’s a REALLY difficult practice for me. One of my biggest character flaws (if it can be considered one) is that I am an absolute coward when it comes to pain. I can’t stand it at all. Unfortunately, I live with a great deal of it for various reasons.
As a result, I can’t just sit with pain and wait to see if it will pass on its own. I always jump at the first sign to take a painkiller. I don’t take narcotics, because as a compulsive person with my aversion to pain, it would be too easy for me to become addicted. I take ibuprofen for my joints and muscular pain, and Tramadol for my GI pain.
But with Buddhism and meditation, the teachings help us learn to be with pain. To meditate on it, treat the painful area with kindness and compassion. Sometimes, the pain just passes on its own. I’ve been working with the discomfort of a proper meditation posture (well, mostly proper) — sore back, sore shoulders, my right leg aches pretty much from the hip joint to toes. It’s difficult to explain what happens when you meditate on pain, but you breathe into it — people who do yoga will know what I mean. You feel the pain, don’t shy away from it. You don’t obsess over it, or fight it, you just let it be. A lot of times, the discomfort will pass as my body relaxes and settles into the position.
It’s different than yoga. As I’ve mentioned in the past, when you do an asana, if it hurts, stop. When you’re dealing with chronic pain, you don’t want to make it worse with stretching, yoga, or other exercise, but you don’t want to avoid it either. I’ve found that deep breathing, either in sitting meditation (or reclined, depending on how bad the pain is), or yoga (which is meditation in motion), can relax parts of the body that become really tense in reaction to the pain. Relaxing loosens those areas, and often, lessens the pain. It’s especially handy when ibuprofen doesn’t work on my joins, and the pain keeps me from going to sleep, or wakes me up in the middle of the night. Deep breathing for a while eventually sends me right back to sleep.
Anyway, over the weekend I had to practice dealing with pain a LOT, and I’ve really made it part of my practice now.
The 30 Day Happiness Challenge! (I’m calling it Day Five)
Three Things I’m Thankful For
- My extended family — I don’t get to see them very often, and it’s very easy to forget how wonderful they are. I’ve lost two of them in the past few years, and that reminds me that they won’t all be here forever, and I should cherish them now.
- Fresh Water — Not everyone in the world has access to this very basic need. Not only am I privileged enough to have a well, I also have spring water delivered bi-weekly, as our well water isn’t good for drinking. It really is an embarrassment of riches. While people elsewhere in the world are drinking out of filthy puddles, I have two clean sources of water.
- My easy chair — It’s terrible for my back and joints, but I just adore this comfy old chair. I can kick back and relax, my cat in my lap. I even work in it, thanks to my laptop desk and wireless keyboard.
One Meaningful Thing That Happened to Me in the Last 24 Hours
Coming home from our trip. I love to travel, see wonderful places and people who are far away, but the minute I walk through the front door, see my familiar home, my cat running to meet me, it brings a giant sigh of relief, both literal and metaphorical. Home really is my touchstone.
Reach Out to Someone You Know and Praise Them
I let my dad know how much I appreciate that he cooks for us all the time. He loves cooking, but it’s still hard work, and he’s very good at addressing my sometimes difficult diet.
Do Cardio for At Least 15 Minutes Per Day
Just about 20 minutes of assisted yoga, marching in place, and doing flexibility and strength exercises for getting up and down from the floor. That’s a lot of work for a woman who hasn’t done it at all in almost a decade!
And Finally: Start Meditating for At Least 5 Minutes Per Day
I already sit for at least 20 minutes, every day. It’s one of the achievements I’m most proud of on this journey so far. Even on those nights when I’d rather just crash with a snack and watch Netflix, I sit and meditate for at least 20 minutes, and then a lot of times, listen to a recorded Dharma talk (Buddhist teaching) instead. It makes me feel a lot better, but I’m way behind on my Netflix now. LOL
Now I just have to keep all of these balls in the air for 25 more days — and then forever, hopefully!
Lady Evolving 