All I really did was put my concentration and energy into about a half an hour of fairly easy chair yoga, but considering I haven’t done any yoga at all in years, it’s no wonder my body objects. I’ve let it dictate too long that it had too many limitations, and it didn’t feel like doing anything. But “it” is ME, and I’m in charge. So yoga it was, and we’ll deal with the consequences as they come.
Now, let’s look at today’s 30 Day NO FAIL Happiness Challenge entries:
- Three Things I’m Thankful For:
- Music: When things are bad, or I need a pick me up, music can always do the trick.
- Funny Videos: I don’t care, I could watch funny pet videos all day. They crack me up.
- The Internet: Weird, I know. But I can’t count the things I never would have learned, the experiences I never would have had, or the friends I never would have made if it weren’t for this infernal network of devilish machines. Including my current path.
- Day Two: Write down one meaningful thing that happened to you in the last 24 hours.
- Hm. We’d have to define “meaningful” first before this is helpful, but I don’t want to take a lot of time doing that. I would say that meaningful experiences are blooming like gardens all around me as I meditate and work on being more mindful, compassionate, and kind. I’ve been focused on anger and hatred — toward self and others — for so long that that was the fuel my life had. Now, everything seems a little bit different. Conversations I veer away from arguments, walking away from arguing with people I think are dangerously wrong on TV (who can’t hear me arguing, and wouldn’t care anyway), doing things I don’t feel like doing… tiny things, but what a difference they make! And even if I can’t really change my attitude, I smile anyway. Then I feel like it will get better.
Today I’ve also been thinking about attachment. In Buddhism, attachment is basically not wanting to be separated from something or someone. I guess I’ve been thinking about desire, too. You see, one of the major aspects of my life from day to day is television. It’s on pretty much from when I get up in the morning until I go to bed at night. I might be writing or doing something else while it’s on, but it’s on. And there are certain shows that I almost never miss. That’s changed some since the internet presented more opportunities to watch things I enjoy at my convenience, rather than planting my behind on the couch with my eyes nailed to the screen the way it used to be. I got obsessed with the shows I watched. My mood often depended on what happened on the show — sometimes for days!
In more recent times, I haven’t been as attached as I was to shows. But when premiere season came in the fall, you better believe I wrote down the date and time of all the shows I loved, and all the ones I wanted to try. But after a while, I kind of wandered off from most of them. I can’t remember if there were any that I was sitting on the couch for to watch the finale first run (when it was originally scheduled) last year.
Well, this week is premiere week. There are a few shows I’m looking forward to. But the ones I REALLY want to see don’t come on until October.
These are weird things to desire. Bizarre things to be attached to, aren’t they? Suffering over television shows? I think the trick is just to take it or leave it — watch if I have time, don’t watch if I don’t, or if there is something better to do.
My first real test of my changing attitudes comes this weekend — going to visit family, and that can be really stressful for me. We don’t see each other very often, and I feel like a stranger a lot of the time. Many of us not only don’t have anything in common, but are opposites in many ways. It’s my job to be cheerful, to show the world my developing inner peace… eee, maybe I should hold off on any responsibility for the world for right now and just focus on getting myself through without going to hide in the dark corners where all the goth second cousins hang out.
Might need to talk about pain tomorrow — shoulders and wrist are already ouchy!
Lady Evolving 